Tropes I'm Tired Of

Off the bat, I don’t want this to come across as shaming or calling for censorship. You know I’m all about enjoying silly things and hating when people are rude about it. So, yes, this newsletter is a bit hypocritical, but I’m focusing on certain trends I’m noticing and how bringing them up often leads to backlash (when in my opinion, we need to be discussing them more, but I digress).

There are some tropes that I think people do need to reckon have caused problems with society. No, it’s not just fiction. We act in conjunction with what we are shown, both in real life and in fiction, and it’s ridiculous to ignore that. Women, in particular, are conditioned to act certain ways due to the patriarchy. Men are also conditioned, and their media consumption should also get criticism, but as a woman, I want to discuss what I’m seeing and how it’s affecting others.

In some ways, this newsletter has been on my mind for about two years. There’s a book series I loved when I was younger but came to the realization I can’t read it as an adult. (No, not THAT one, although I’m also not reading about those wizards anymore)

Megan McCafferty’s Jessica Darling series meant so much to me growing up. My mom got it for me from the library, and as a smart girl surrounded by shallow people, I felt a real kinship to Jessica. I was excited to reread them as an adult. However, when I did, I was reminded of something that completely turned me off from continuing my reread: I absolutely hated the main love interest, Marcus Flutie.

I remembered as a young girl not entirely vibing with him, but in the subsequent books, I knew he was the “endgame” and just went along with it. I still thought Jessica could do better, but he had a hold over her (and the other readers). As an adult, I can’t continue this belief anymore. Marcus is terrible, and their love story shouldn’t be aspirational.

I won’t go into many spoilers, but the main thing that stuck out for me upon the reread actually wasn’t his past as a drug addict and troublemaker in school (those were definitely knocks against him when I was a teen). It was more about the fact that he manipulated Jessica the entire first book, and we’re supposed to act as though it was okay for him to do it because he came to love her, and she was obsessed with loved him. Yes, he eventually had some decent character growth, but his actions in the other books was also questionable. It was like Jessica kept making excuses for him and accepted that this is who he is. And I find this mentality somewhat damaging for young girls.

So, with that here are the tropes I’m tired of:

• “I can fix him”

  • No, you can’t fix abuse or fascism with love. Men are not entitled to women even if they do manage to fix themselves. Not everyone is meant for a redemption arc.

• Accidental pregnancy (the fact that there were so many of these books published after the Dobbs decision was concerning to me!)

  • This comes from purity culture and generally falls into two camps:

    • the overly cautious girl who has sex ONE TIME and winds up pregnant, so it’s like “way to go you slut, now see the consequences”

    • the wild child who gets pregnant and uses it as an opportunity to turn her life around

• Unequal power dynamics (boss/assistant, professor/student)

  • Particularly, the smart young woman getting into a relationship with her recently divorced/still married professor who is actually an absolute loser, but she needs to LEARN from this experience, otherwise she won’t be an ~adult~ or something

    • This is employed more by men within the literary fiction space, but I also see it a lot from women in literary fiction, and I find it very disappointing! There are other ways for women to grow in their 20s that don’t involve shitty divorced/still married men!

• Enemies to lovers that skews more abusive than anything else

  • This can be tied to unequal power dynamics, to be honest. I think if they’re legitimate on different sides of an issue and in equal stations of power (i.e., they’re both rulers, not he’s a lord/king and she’s a lowly servant/soldier), the trope works for me. Otherwise, nope!

• Codependency, particularly within family situations

  • No, it’s not cute. You all need therapy and better boundaries

• Millionaire/CEO love interests

  • A week or so ago, someone wondered if Dmitri from Anastasia was the blueprint for most romantasy leads. I thought about it, and while the banter from Dmitri has made its way into most romantasy/romance books, none of the love interests are actually Dmitri since it’s very rare for a working class/poor love interest nowadays! We’re all being sold the Cinderella fantasy over and over again: a woman is to be saved by the rich man/fae lord!

I can’t lie and say that I won’t read some of these books. It does depend on the writing. But I also think some of these tropes deserve to be spoken about in regard of how women internalize the messages and what that leads to in their romantic lives. I know this take is controversial, but it’s on my mind so much lately.

Hope you’re all staying cool.